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About Me
- Bilbo
- This blog is dedicated to those interested in exploring relationships. It was created both for those who are either married or single. What is posted here reflects my own exploration into the nature and essence of interpersonal relationships over the past eight years.
8 comments:
I suppose so...but if there is one thing I have learned is that it takes two to make a relationship, and I can only control one person, that being myself. And nothing is absolute...in that sometimes we succeed, and sometimes we fair, even if our intentions are honorable...
Oops...I meant to say "sometimes we fail"...
Yes, it seems to me that being the right kind of person is just not enough.
Julie and Kathleen,
Let me qualify and provide a context in an effort to more accurately communicate what I "intended" to suggest and say...The primary context was intended for those who are"single" and want to get married. Although, if one is married, I think being a good partner and knowing "how" to love ones mate does "increase" the chances that one will have a better marriage, although I agree with you Julie, that being the right kind of person may not always be enough...Kathleen, I agree that it takes two to tango and reciprocation is critical. I made this comment because it seems from where I sit these days that a significant number of people out there who are not married "seem" more interested in finding the right person than "being" the right person. I know this is a gross generalization but I just haven't met too many people since I have been single who seem to be working, reflecting, or pondering on what it might mean to be a good partner. Just my take on things. Again, this is a generalization and I hope I am wrong...Thanks Julie and Kathleen for sharing and I appreciate your comments.
Ummmmm...I think we need to respectfully disagree on this one..."relationship" is not one of those things you can learn to do alone.
Kathleen,
I didn't intend to communicate that relationship is something we do on our own...and...as your comment suggests being in a relationship is "how" we learn to be a good partner...but...I also believe while we are in a relationship we can also individually work, reflect, and ponder about how to be a better partner. Relationships are a dance between two people but sometimes one or perhaps both partners may need to sit out a song or two. In other words, relationships contain both time together and time apart and we are bonded together by mutual love but we are also both individuals...maintaining that balance between being one and being individuals is not always easy.
I think I hear what you're saying. There's a need for those who are single to not merely dwell on what they are looking for in a partner, but to grapple with (perhaps) what it is that they need to do to heal, recover, grow after the previous relationship. Might that be it?
Hi Julie
Exactly...and...it's not either/or. I am not suggesting that one not make the effort to cultivate a relationship or seek out a partner. It's a matter of "emphasis" that I am questioning. If we place all our energy on finding a partner without at least equally putting in the time to reflect and work on being a loving person than I question whether our next relationship will be any better than our last one. Just my take on things.
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