"Pain and difficulty can sometimes serve as the pathway to a new level of involvement. They do not mean necessarily that there is something inherently wrong with the relationship: on the contrary, relationship trouble may be a challenging initiation into intimacy."

I believe there is so much wisdom contained in these three and a half sentences. We are socialized and conditioned to believe that maritial/relationship strife/challenges is paramount to something wrong with our relationships, which in turn, implies that there is something wrong with me, my partner, or both of us. This popular notion, however, creates a significant amount of anxiety and defensiveness which generally only makes matters worse. If….we could only see and understand that relationship trouble provides a "potential opportunity" for greater vulnerability, deeper communication and understanding on both parties than maybe so many of us wouldn’t just want to sweep so much stuff under the rug. Sweeping our problems under the rug may provide temporary relief from the challenges at hand but in the long run the dust that is under the rug always seems to find a way out from under the rug and eventually into our heart...and...a heart covered in dust is a heart that is struggling to beat.