Monday, June 13, 2011

Creating a Peaceful Sanctuary

When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm, we make an important discovery—that intimate relationships can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred place where we can be ourselves, as we are..and…speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, revealing our raw edges and unmasking ourselves is a type of sacred activity, which allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.

Revealing ourselves with full disclosure is so hard for most of us because we don't always respond to each other with full acceptance or grace. Thus, we often hide or withhold information about ourselves to our partners...but...when we hide who we really are, warts and all, than we forfeit the potential opportunity to experience healing from our partners. There are no easy answers to this dilemma. All I can think to do is to strive to model forgiveness, acceptance, and grace to our partners and "hope" this will encourage them to reciprocate. And, if both partners can do this on a regular basis than our relationships can provide a healing sanctuary that we all need and deserve.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Romantic love is one of the most powerful means for pulling us out of literal life into play. In the trance of love, we may neglect our life’s duties and obligations…to be in love is to be in play, to be taken by illusions…and…no matter how unrealistic in relation to the structures of life, no matter how illusory and dangerous, romantic love is as important to the soul as any other kind of love.

I believe there are two common mistakes made by individuals and our society at large regarding romantic love. One is to overemphasize the importance and role of romantic love in a relationship and the other is to underestimate it's significance. When we over estimate the role of romantic love we set ourselves up for potential disillusionment down the road when strong emotional feelings are bound to waver and subside after the early infatuation stage which is a part of all relationships. And, when we downplay it's importance we do so at the peril of missing out or at least experiencing the full potential of the romantic experience which, as the author of this quote suggests,is as important to the other aspects of love. So, the implications are that we need not pit romance against the other critically important aspects of love, nor should we elevate it to a higher status which cannot be maintained during the course of any normal healthy relationship.