Fear convinces us not to risk, that is, not to act bravely and creatively. Fear is the only obstacle to love. David Richo

In a couple of previous posts I mentioned some actions and things that undermine relationships, things like, working too much, criticizing your partner in public, indifference, being emotionally unavailable, etc. As I have reflected on my own relationships and listened to others talk about their own relationship failures, disappointments, or ongoing struggles the shadow of fear seems to loom near or at the center of many of our relationship struggles. Fear to be vulnerable, fear of commitment, fear of abandonment, fear of engulfment, fear of change, fear of losing control, fear of speaking up for ourselves, fear of leaving, fear of staying, these and other types of fear seem to be more often than not, one, if not the primary underlying cause of most our relationship problems. During my adult life I have been married once and have had three other serious relationships and as I have pondered the melt down of my marriage and why my other relationships have not reached the level of commitment or intimacy I had hoped for, fear, seems to be a repeating theme in every case which is why I want to explore this topic in greater depth in the days and weeks to come.