"When we look at the soul of relationships we may find positive value in failures, endings, complexities, doubts, distancing, the desire for separation, and freedom, and other troubling aspects. We can see these as initiation opportunities rather than threats….The ending of a relationship doesn’t have to be read as literal failure, but can be seen vertically, as a means toward a new level of experience.”


I confess it has been very difficult, at times, to find positive value in the ending of my relationships…at least, initially..Initially there is a void filled with frequent loneliness that often lingers until the next relationship and with it, the haunting question arises, “ will I ever find love again”?...but with time, one always seems to find love again because love always seems to find a way to find us, even when we are not looking for it. And, when the spark is ignited even the strongest, mightiest, and most confident fall under it’s spell….

So what “may” the “initiation opportunities” and “new level” of experience” be that are associated with endings, doubts, distancing, desire for separation, and new freedom”?...Because each person is an individual one cannot predict what these new “initiation opportunities” will be. For some, it may be an initiation into a new relationship while for others it may be an opportunity for personal growth/healing, more time for community service , or development of new hobbies…the bottom line…. the end of a relationship need to lead one into despair, depression, or the loss of hope, but rather the beginning of potentially new satisfying opportunities.