Many of us grew up in a time, family, or subculture where we were taught to distrust our emotions, "certain pleasures", and desires in general. I don't mean to imply that this was "all bad" but as I have gotten older I do now believe a significant amount of the exhortations that were directed my way should have at least been qualified and balanced with the understanding that pleasure, desire, and eros play an important role in the life of the soul. I was thinking about this, this morning as I was reading my journal notes from Thomas Moore's books, Soulmates and The Soul of Sex. I sure wish I had read these books when I was young. So many people, imo, seem to have a dysfunctional relationship between their bodies, pleasure, and the deep seated desires that frequently come to the surface. But, it should come as no great surprise considering the mixed messages we receive from our schizophrenic society on a regular basis on the relationship between our life and pleasure, desire, and eros. I'll close with a series of quotes taken from Thomas Moore's books Soulmates and The Soul of Sex. Some of these quotes probably need to be qualified but I'll let them stand as they are because I think it might do us good to ponder what he has to say in it's raw form.


Stern moralistic warnings about not falling into the illusions of romantic love come from a place foreign to love. They are not messages from erotic life, but from a place that devalues eros...No matter how unrealistic in relation to the structures of life, no matter how illusory and dangerous, romantic love is as important to the
soul as any other kind of love...Romantic love is one of the most powerful means for pulling us out of literal life into play...To be in love is to be in play, to be taken by illusions...and...something eternally valid comes to us in the sensation of sex and romance.

Just as logic leads the mind, desire guides the soul. We live in a world that trusts logic, and from that commitment we distrust desire: but if we lived in a world that validated desire, we would know how to trust it. Desire often asks that we abandon logic and perhaps appear foolish to our friends. The soul needs true pleasure and genuine joy just as much as the mind needs ideas and information and the body needs food and exercise. It asks for abandonment to its illusions., it serious playfulness and its purposeful games.

We don't have to justify our pleasure in the illusions of love. Dalliance and flirtations don't have to lead to a long standing relationship or marriage in order to prove themselves. If we had this thought in mind perhaps we would be able to enjoy our passing fancies without worrying so much about their implications. The soul thrives on ephemeral fantasies...

Eros moves and settles in the area of the heart. if we are confused by this strong rush of new spirit, it may be because we are not familiar with our own interior life. if we can't distinguish illusion from opportunity, then maybe we don't know our ow hearts well enough. An intense romance could provide an opportunity to get to know ourselves, but how much better, it would be if we were familiar with the way of our soul in the first place?