How much should I sacrifice of my time, priorities, my interests, my energy, my money to care for others? When does self-sacrifice become a form of self-negation....If I neglect the cultivation of my gifts, the nurturing of my deepest needs and the enjoyment of those pleasures that tickle my peculiar fancy...it is unlikely that my caring for others will spring from the bounty of my being. Whenever we abandon our personal sense of vocation...we....place enormous burden on others to justify the sacrifice we have made "for their sake". The only rule of thumb I know is: Avoid either/or, embrace both/and...Develop those modes of caring that allow you to love both self and others...The quantity of human need is finite, but our ability to offer care is finite. Each of us has limited resources, time, energy, and attention to give to others....Sam Keen

If we forget or cannot accept that we and our partners are limited in terms of how much time, attention, and care we can provide for each other than we may project guilt,shame, and unrealistic expectations upon ourselves and our partners...and...no one can fill the void that we all have from time to time or to one degree or another which is why we all need to learn to nurture our own soul and be careful to not demand that our partners be something they were never created to be. And, let us always show gratitude when our partners do enrich our souls with their love and reciprocate it as often as possible.